Offering and Getting Support

The circulation of sexual pictures/videos among peers and their distribution via the Internet can have short and long-term impacts on youth. The emotional effects will vary according to your adolescent’s personality, temperament, support systems, and resiliency. How you manage the situation is really important; bringing in others can also help your child through this potentially difficult time.

• Your Support

  Consider the following:

  • This is a mistake and does not define your child.

    Errors in judgement such as this provide your child an opportunity to learn and grow.

  • Those involved need to take ownership for their actions.

    If your child is the one that shared the picture/video beyond what was intended, involve her/him in discussions about how s/he is going to fix it, prevent it from happening again and repair the relationship with the affected youth in the picture/video.

  • Consequences for the inappropriate behaviour need to be reasonable and fit the situation.

    While consequences may be a developmental fear of adolescents, it should not stop parents from instituting boundaries and limits (in a loving, supportive and communicative way) in response to a serious situation.

  • Discuss what represents healthy and respectful relationships.

    Developing a good understanding of healthy relationships will reduce the likelihood of this occurring again. Walking through the important qualities of a respectful relationship and how others deserve to be treated must be a part of the learning process.

  • Weave in reassuring messaging if your child is the one depicted in the picture/video.

    • Listen to your child without judgment. Reinforce that s/he is not alone – as her/his parent(s), you are there to listen to her/him. Use words such as “Tell me more about that,” followed by remaining quiet and listening carefully to her/his concerns.
    • Assist your child in moving past self-blame.
    • Advise your child that you are there to help her/him deal with the situation in a way that provides the dignity and respect s/he deserves. While this was a poor decision, it does not, in any way, justify what occurred.
    • Be optimistic and reinforce that your child will persevere.
    • Empower your child by encouraging positive self-talk and reframing how s/he may be viewing the incident.
    • Reinforce the importance of keeping good friends close by to help get through this. Friends can act as a buffer for your child from the harmful effects of self/peer exploitation and help her/him cope.

• Your Child’s School

  Schools have a major role to play in this issue given that the results of this behaviour often include a significant negative impact upon the school environment, regardless of whether the behaviour occurred on school grounds. A good option is to let the school know about our School and Family Approaches to Intervention and Prevention – Addressing Self/Peer Exploitation Resource Guide. Learn more.

  A plan for addressing this can include restorative justice options as well as identifying a safe adult in the school (e.g. school counsellor) your child can turn to for help in managing peer issues.

  • Restorative Justice Examples

    • Provide the opportunity for amends to be made with the affected youth, helping her/him feel safe and gain closure.
    • Allow the acting-out youth to assess the impact of her/his behaviour, take responsibility for her/his actions and gain insight into the factors that contributed to her/his conduct.

• Professional Support

  • Your family doctor can be a good starting point for accessing a referral for support.
  • A professional therapist may be necessary to support your child in managing the potential emotional impacts tied to sharing a sexual picture/video and possibly the broader impacts if the content is posted online.
  • Finding a therapist who understands the potential extent of the trauma associated with having content/information circulating on the Internet may be helpful in assisting your child process and move past what has occurred.

• Your Child’s Friends

  Having at least one good friend can be a very important protective factor in helping your child deal with the impacts of a self/peer exploitation incident. In a situation where your child is the acting-out youth, identify friends that understand the seriousness of what has transpired, while at the same time can offer support through what may end being a difficult time (e.g. regret around what transpired).